Is November My Month?

I feel different.
Maybe that's the placebo effect taking hold.
But I think I fell different.
Different how?
I dunno...just different.

Could I be preggers?

If so, the baby would arrive in late July.
That would suck, but I'll take whatever I can get.

periods, yeah i'm going there.

as if they are not bad enough.
they are the scourge of a woman's life from 12 years old on.
every month there are cramps, pains, headaches and fatness.
but they say it's worth it because you get a baby.
well, nothing makes them worse than a period signalling another failed month at your attempt to get pregnant.
nothing.
and so another month passes without good news.
just tampons, midol and bitchiness.

should it be this hard?

this week i heard from two of my sisters that each is pregnant.
they chatted back and forth about how fun it will be to have their babies together.
unintentionally, this feels like an exclusive club i am not a member of.
there is an aspect of internal struggle for happiness for others and pity for oneself when pregnancy is in the cards.

yesterday i went to the doctor for a round of blood draws.
they are checking my thyroid and my hormones in general.
people keep asking me if i'll hate taking a thyroid pill every day if the tests show a problem.
these are questions you ask when babies just appear in your womb without effort.
all i can think about is finding out what the problem is so we can get pregnant.
taking a pill every day seems a very small price to pay.

it's not fair

trying to get pregnant makes you feel resentment towards anyone and everyone who has ever become pregnant without trying. and no one is more exasperating than teenagers. how is it fair that hundreds of thousands of teens can get so easily knocked up while trying NOT to? while a committed, loving husband and wife are left taking temperatures, scheduling sex and jumping through hoops with no success?

it boggles the mind.

"we're trying"....ick.

common knowledge states that when you are trying to conceive there should be tons of sex involved. i mean, isn't that what you picture when any couple utters the phrase, "we're trying"? you immediately picture them having sex 10 times each day. ick. for that reason i try to avoid using that phrase at all costs.

but in reality, experts say when you are trying to conceive that you are supposed to have sex only every other day or else the sperm are not as powerful.

my husband and i get frisky a fair amount. in the grand tradition of over-worrying about conception i began freaking out on occasions when we had sex two days in a row. what if the little guys were tired? what if we blew our chances? this led to the following comic....the first as we begin a journey towards adding a baby to this little family.